Ever Present

Having been so preoccupied lately, or fatigued, or stressed to the point of tears, I had carved out no time for meditation.  There were moments to take a dip down but fleeting times they were:  At the beach, when I closed my eyes to become aware of the waves (I am water, not the wave) or the wisps of conversations of the people around us and the squeals of small children.  Certain sounds that some might think would not be conducive to meditation but it was really just about being in the moment.  Other times I took a few seconds to really take in the scenery.  Or sometimes I'd sink down into myself while folding laundry, or cooking dinner.  Just to sort of keep going.  To keep in touch with self.

I read this article a few minutes ago and I was reminded (again) that once you discover the deeply spiritual side of yourself, it can never be banished.  It is ever present, always there, like a Pandora's Box for the good or a can of butterflies.  It can never be closed.  You may have to put it to one side for a while at times but you will heed the reminders it sends to you when you've neglected it for too long.

I came to the door of awakening in the Spring of 2012 but did not walk across the threshold until November 2012. Since then, I've discovered in trickles more truths about myself, from big significant ones that can give a jolt like electricity to the little ones that make me smile and huff at the same time.

How content I feel today.  And smiling.  Safe and secure in the knowledge that it doesn't matter what goes on in my world, from the lingering aches of the past that nudge my heart and poke my memories to the stresses of work and physical worries, I am ok.  I am doing just fine.

I am all I need.

I love my husband and my children with a quiet ferocity.  Well, truth be told, love for my kids is unconditional because they are part of me and I grew them but the love for my husband has faded in and out over the years. This due for the most part to those outside factors and the usual marriage ups and downs.  I am growing and nurturing a self-love and it supersedes that.  It's a powerful thing and without it, I couldn't love my husband and much as I do these days.

So with life calming down a bit, I am welcomed to myself with open arms and a beaming smile.

*****

 Here again, so nice to see you, how've you been?

Come child, sit a while and let go.

You are all you need.

For the stillness causes ripples

of loving kisses

for all you meet.