Carefree to careworn overnight. It's been coming for a while; another rolling wave crashing upon a peaceful shore, threatening the careful facade, and fragile sandcastles.
The same old, same old worries and frustrations that dog us, bark alongside us, remind us of our position of lack, make it so difficult to turn that canine on its head, and find ways to express our needs and wants from a positive position.
The routinely outturned pockets, offering fluffy nothings. Holey clothes, children's worn shoes wincing as for bike brakes. Desperate for respite.
The wave builds. The alcoholic crutch returns. The creeping excuses, and rationalizations. Building, building. Disgruntled. Self-judgment. More wine, please. More chips, please. Enabler, enabled.
And crash...
Tucked away today, in my cave. Tired. Thinking. Planning. Determined. Trying not to berate.
Dammit. Summer's coming. Back on the clean wagon. Must to be fiercely erecting barricades all around to stop from falling off.
I hope I can still see the scenery through the gaps.
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